One of the biggest myths in the dating world is that you need to go out to bars or clubs to meet women. You obviously, definitely, can meet women this way, it’s the timeless classic – going out to pick up! – but it’s not your only option. And no I’m not talking about online dating, I’m talking about meeting women during the day.
Today, or tomorrow, when you leave the house, just do one thing. Simply, look up. Pay attention to what is around you. Watch who walks past you on the street, look at more in the stores than the items for sale, lift your head from the newspaper on the train platform, get out of the office on your lunch break – just look around. You will notice something – yep, women are everywhere! And let me tell you one thing – every one of them that is single, is very likely in the same boat as you – really wanting to meet someone, but struggling to find the time, opportunity or ability to do so.
Yes, you can meet these women. Yes, you can date these women. In fact many are probably just waiting for a dashing lad like yourself to take that great leap of “Hello”. You’d be surprised by how rarely women are actually approached, that is, if you discount the drunken “Heyyyy”s and “Sup girls?”; I mean properly approached. Man’d up, balls’d up, “Hello I wanted to meet you” approached.
The awareness of opportunity
So this simple awareness of opportunity – the opening of your eyes to what is right in front of you – is something that cannot be emphasised enough. It is the massive realisation that you can literally, at any time, stand up, walk out your front door, walk out of your office, and meet awesome women. This one little realisation, if acted upon, will change your dating life forever. Stopping in at the supermarket on the way home from work, or catching the train in the morning, or eating lunch in the park – these situations will never be the same again. They will become dating opportunities.
You need to be willing to try
After this realisation, then comes the second thing, the most important thing – you need to be willing to try. Because the idea is probably daunting, you may find yourself already thinking of 101 excuses to not do it. Some of the classics are “It’s weird” or “Oh it’s just not me to do that” or “People don’t want to be bothered through the day”. This is just your brain trying to keep you comfortable and safe. See, your brain doesn’t want what is necessarily best for you, it just wants you to survive (this is why low calorie broccoli tastes like crap but high calorie bacon tastes delightful). But in order to get new outcomes, you need to try new things. You don’t see the world as it is, you see it as you are, and a guy who is willing to have a crack try sees that countless women out there are wondering why they never meet anyone, whereas the ‘excuses guy’ just sees how he is “bothering them”. What you see is based on your attitude.
So what do I say?
There is a whole lot of backend ‘stuff’ that needs to be addressed when you’re talking dating. In any interaction, you’re beliefs are coming through, what you think of yourself is coming through, who you are and where you’re at in life is all coming through – and that is what she is really responding to, way more than what you’re saying, so what you say isn’t hugely important … but you have to say something!
The old KISS rule certainly applies here – keep it simple. You don’t have to come up with the greatest pick up line in history, you don’t have to make her laugh, you don’t have to be super suave, you just have to be, well – you. The women that are perfect for you will be very similar to you, and they will respond to your “Hello”, they will respond to your observation (what is she wearing, doing, buying), they will respond to your compliment or your question. Not all of them, no, but the ones that you’re wanting to meet, the ones that you will click with, will. Just balls up and tell her that you just wanted to come and meet her if need be (my own personal favourite) and just introduce yourself. You only think it’s hard because you haven’t done it, yet.
The take-home message
Women are struggling to meet decent men just as much as men are struggling to meet decent women. What would make a better story for her to tell her friends (which she will) – that she met you in a bar, or that you stopped her on the street? That you met her on Tinder or that you commented her on her hat in the supermarket? Get to it lads, take it to the streets. There are women out there waiting for you.