Hope you’re all well and are prepped for the Festive season (Spring Carnival, Christmas parties, etc), where even your otherwise crappy bars and pubs are flooded with TONS of lovely women (For all those who believe that you could never meet a quality girl in a bar – *cough* total bullshit – now is your chance to get out and meet many who rarely go out).
This is a post about making the best of what you have. I heard it best from a client just the other day – “Attitude is king!”
The question/comment came from a lovely female client of mine who said …
“It’s depressing that men are so interested in looks”
This is not an uncommon complaint, but I do find it within the genre of comments that I find a little irksome. I tend to see a strong correlation between people who blame the nature of dating and not getting what they want, both men and women – “All hot women are bitches!” / “Men just want one thing!”
My answer to the above lady was …
“You can find it depressing and frustrating and complain about it, or you can accept it and DO something about it. As with everything, it\’s all in the attitude. It\’s like the guys who come to me who are short and say things like \”I will never meet women because of my height\” to which I generally say \”Well, you can bitch about it, and use it as a perfect excuse to not step up, OR you can accept that it is what it is, that you do perhaps have some odds stacked against you since most women prefer a tall guy, but not ALL, and it\’s not DEFINITE. Just because you\’re short, what, you\’re doomed to be alone forever? One of the best guys that I know with women is 5\’4\”! We can all find excuses, I could sit at home and go \”Boo, women won\’t like me cos I\’m bald, how depressing\” OR I can go \”Yep, hair gone, it\’s not going to stop me from doing what I want, I just keep going hard until I get it, even if it takes me longer\”
So basically, yes, it can be depressing and frustrating, but it\’s just the same for everyone. I chat with men often who find that women pull away from them because they live at home and/or are broke. Men being primarily directed by a woman\’s beauty is no more shallow, and no more HIS choice than a woman wanting a guy to be financially stable. This stuff is biological, and wired into us through thousands of years of evolutionary psychology. No guy wakes up and goes \”I will only like attractive women today\” any more than women wake up and go \”I will only like wealthy guys today\” – it\’s just a strong preference, definitely not everything (nothing worse than an attractive girl with a shit attitude).
Ironically I do find that a lot of the women who complain about men being only interested in looks, often could do SO much but refuse to. They use it as an excuse to not. An old friend of mine, a lovely girl so I don\’t mean her ill-will, complains about men being shallow all the time. Now, this girl is pretty, but is largely overweight. She does nothing to change her lifestyle, just complains over and over that men are shallow. I can\’t help but to wonder how her life would be different if she just redirected the energy into being positive and changing her lifestyle. Personally I think to complain that looks are important to a man is like complaining about gravity – it just is, so work with it. Hair, teeth, body, skin tone, dress sense, make up, attitude – EVERY women can be so beautiful (and likely healthier and happier because of it)”
So I think that it’s good to look at what excuses are holding you back. We ALL have issues. Even that belter at the bar that you think shits golden nuggets has her off days. I have had clients who are overweight, bald, in their teens, in their 50s, virgins, 5 foot nothing in height, broke, living at home, fuck I’ve had clients who barely speak English – but with the right attitude and consistent attitude, success is right there for the taking. With the right attitude and CONSISTENT action, it’s impossible to fail. As Jim Rohn said – “How long should a baby try to learn how to walk? Until”
So know that these things do make a difference. They do. You can bullshit yourself all you like, but your looks still count, so does your income, so does your ethnicity, so does your height – yes, we live in a shallow world that does judge a book by it’s cover.
You will find your greatest answers come directly through to your obstacles. You will likely find more happiness in taking on these challenges than you will from a partner in lieu. So you can go round and round the mulberry bush, looking for someone to bend to your sad arse reality, or you can make the most of what you got, decide how you see the world, what definitions you give things, and get cracking on an over better life, until …
If your dating life could use a kick-start, or if you want to really ramp up your game, book a session today.