Question – “I want to improve my approaching, so I’ve committed to doing 50 approaches a week. Is this a good idea?”
Answer – Although the determination is admirable, unfortunately, personally I don’t believe that it’s a great idea. 50 approaches a week is not maintainable, nor does it sound very enjoyable. It will likely put undue stress on you for \’failing\’, and IF you do manage to reach that amount, you’ve probably just clocked them up for the numbers, with no oomph or intent behind them. One solid approach is worth way more than five half-arsed approaches. Personally I don’t like the idea of counting approaches – it seems too systematic to me. But some of my friends who are great with women do, so it’s not my place to say that it doesn’t work.
If you feel that the numbers thing will help you, awesome, but I would say to aim for a fraction of what you have in mind – maybe 10 a week, with any more than that being a bonus. Just do NOT run away from good interactions so that you can clock your numbers.
1) Get out and meet women in the fashion or venue that is most enjoyable to you. If you like chilling out in a bar with friends (my preference), do that. You don’t HAVE to do day game (although it is a bloody handy skill to have), or go to clubs, or whatever. And visa versa – if you prefer going out during the day, focus on that.
If there is a venue in particular that you enjoy going to, go to it. If there are particular friends that you like being around, go out with them. If you like dancing, or yoga, or some other activity, great – probably a lot of women do too. Find whatever it is that makes this easiest, and most enjoyable, and do that. Enjoying your environment will make it easier to get involved, and the cumulative effect of doing so week after week will ensure that your ability and results develop nicely.
2) Choose your 10 approaches better. If you’re clocking 50 approaches, you are likely diving on anything, anywhere, anytime, and are not using any intuition or social awareness. Fine-tune these and your turnaround will sky rocket. (Note: if you’re getting a lot of flakes, you’re likely just not as well tuned there as you could be). If you see a woman that you would like to meet, and your heart tells you that you can, and that now is a good time to do so (try to not listen to your head – it will tell you bullshit), make her one of your 10 and really try – don’t clock the approach and run off.
Consistency is what\’s more important in your improvement. The chubby guy who commits to the gym just twice a week is much more likely to stick at for the long-term than the guy who, in a random rush of enthusiasm, decides \”GYM EVERYDAY FROM NOW ON!\” and then quits after two weeks. This is not something that you go out and do once and live happily ever after with your spoils. Real change takes time. It will vary from person to person. Some guys will make just a couple of changes, learn to approach, meet their girl right away and they’re happy. Other guys will want to stick it out to see how much they can learn about themselves, women and relationships. Either way, have patience, and enjoy the process.
If your dating life could use a kick-start, or if you want to really ramp up your game, book a session today.