How do I get rid of nerves before a date?

The short (and unpopular) answer is that you can’t. But I think the main thing is to accept your nerves rather than fight them. Much like approach anxiety, fighting your nerves or trying to force them away will back fire and make you worse. You need to realise that being nervous in a situation like this is completely normal and universal. It is not a reflection of you as a person. There is a VERY fine line between nervous and excited, and considering that people tend to attract similar people, she is very likely just as nervous as you. Breathe, relax and accept it. Calling a friend right before a date will help to get you in a chatty mood, and a drink or two during the date will further help that. But the two biggest things that help me are:

1)      Call me crazy, but I have a very “what is meant to be, will be” mentality, and I go into any date with zero pressure on myself to be impressive. I feel that if something is meant to happen between us, it will – and we will just naturally click. Whether you believe this or not, it certainly facilitates much easier dates. I don’t think dating should be hard, at least not at the start, and if it feels like a big effort, I personally feel that she may not be the girl for you.

2)      As most of you know, I am a big believer in what I call subconscious communication – that deep level of connection and ‘spark’ between people that overshadows all other communication. So in my opinion, being nervous or not – it will make very little difference. If she is on that same wave length as you – that inexplicable affinity that you share with some people, you will connect. With a degree of dating experience, you will begin to detect this compatibility in seconds.

As you evolve and become stronger in yourself, and get more comfortable in your own skin, and start to truly believe your own value, the degree to which you will feel nerves on dates, or really in any situation, will drop significantly. So even if you do manage to cock this date up, you will be stronger for the next.

3) Sometimes the best thing to do is prepare BEFORE the date. Physicality, we all know, can help nerves. Personally I’m a huge fan of a run before a date. This can get the blood and endorphins going, and put you in a much better state. Meditation (if you’ve followed my stuff for a while) is also a key daily habit to reducing general anxiety. You can also take supplements. I’m a big fan of ginseng and guarana, citrulline also is always in my cupboard for times where I need better mental clarity. Hell even every day herbs like turmeric can be a big help for anxiety. Experiment, find what works for you.

If your dating life could use a kick-start, or if you want to really ramp up your game, book a session today.

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