Confidence vs. Courage

Confidence is HUGELY overrated. Everyone talks about confidence as though it’s the magical elixir to dating success – “Just be confident”, “Oooh he is so confident”, “Women like confidence”, “It’s ok for you, you’re confident”, “I’m just not confident” … Confidence is bullshit. Our assumption of ‘confidence’ is that one awakes one morning, naturally brimming with an unwavering certainty that one can absolutely do something, or anything. In dating you’re battling thousands of years of evolutionary biology and psychology demanding that you’re socially accepted, and hundreds of years of social conditioning telling you to stay in your box. Don’t wait to be confident, it’s an illusion. Be courageous. THAT’S what it’s all about. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s feeling the fear and still moving forward, still taking steps to get what you want. That my friends, is ‘confidence’. You can’t just decide to be confident, nullifying the “Just be confident” advice, but you don’t have to be! You CAN decide to be courageous. You CAN decide that the outcome is worth the effort. Fake confidence is see through and a turn off. Opting for courage is much more congruent, and I would say that congruence is ultimately more important in dating than confidence.

If your dating life could use a kick-start, or if you want to really ramp up your game, book a session today.

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